he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
