I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
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