yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize