As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
