Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
