TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
