don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
