We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
