I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
