I want to make a zoo with you.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
