i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
