Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
