do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize