Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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