Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
