he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Randomize
