Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
