I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
