i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Quick, to the slutcave!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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