I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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