My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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