Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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