just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
