Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
