its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
