Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
