Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
