what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Boobs are out for the taking
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
