one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She bit a glass in half.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
