hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Hippo gnu deer
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
