it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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