Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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