we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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