i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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