i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I checked into jail on foursquare
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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