I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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