Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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