So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize