I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
they're like a gay fantastic four
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
