We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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