Barsexuality is the new black.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
