I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize