We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
