My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
