i think my tv is drunk
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
