she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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