I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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