He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
