Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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