I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
