You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
