Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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