why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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