Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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