I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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