i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
