I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The air taste purple.
Randomize
