What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
