we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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