i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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