he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
