U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
