those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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