Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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