In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm at about main and main street
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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