talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize