I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
