dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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