So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
