Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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